OUT OF THE HURLY-BURLY By MAX ADELER
CONTENTS

FRONTISPIECE.

DEDICATION.

PREFACE

CHAPTER I.
THE FOUNDER OF NEW CASTLE—A SEARCH FOR QUIETNESS—LIFE IN THE CITY AND THE VILLAGE—WHY THE LATTER IS PREFERABLE—PECULIARITIES OF THE VILLAGE—SLEEPY OLD TOWN—WE ERECT OUR FAMILY ALTAR.

CHAPTER II.
A VERY DANGEROUS INVENTION
THE PATENT COMBINATION STEP-LADDERDOMESTIC SERVANTSADVERTISING FOR A GIRLTHE PEASANT-GIRL OF FACT AND FICTIONA CONTRAST.

CHAPTER III.
THE VIEW UPON THE RIVER; A MAGNIFICENT PANORAMA—MR. AND MRS. COOLEY—MATRIMIONIAL INFELICITIES—THE CASE OF MRS. SAWYER; A BLIGHTED LIFE—A PRESENT; OUR CENTURY PLANT AND ITS PECULIARITIES.

CHAPTER IV.
JUDGE PITMAN—HIS EXPERIMENT IN THE BARN—A LESSON IN NATURAL HISTORY—CATCHING THE EARLY TRAIN—ONE OF THE MISERIES OF LIVING IN A VILLAGE—BALL'S LUNG EXERCISE—MR. COOLEY'S IMPERTINENCE.

CHAPTER V.
A LITTLE LOVE AFFAIR—COWARDICE OF MR. PARKER—POPULAR INTEREST IN AMATORY MATTERS—THE MAGRUDER FAMILY—AN EVENT IN ITS HISTORY—REMARKABLE EXPERIMENTS BY MRS. MAGRUDER—AN INDIGNANT HUSBAND —A QUESTION ANSWERED.

CHAPTER VI.
THE EDITOR OF OUR DAILY PAPER—THE APPEARANCE AND PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS OF COLONEL BANGS—THE AFFAIR WITH THE
TOMBSTONE—ART NEWS—COLONEL BANGS IN THE HEAT OF A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN—PECULIAR TROUBLES OF PUBLIC SINGERS—THE PHENOMENA OF MENAGERIES—EXTRAORDINARY SAGACITY OF THE ANIMALS—THE WILD MAN OF AFGHANISTAN.

CHAPTER VII.
THE
BATTERY AND ITS PECULIARITIES—A LOVELY SCENE—SWEDE AND DUTCHMAN TWO HUNDRED YEARS AGO—OLD NAMES OF THE RIVER—INDIAN NAMES GENERALLY—COOLEY'S BOY—HIS ADVENTURE IN CHURCH—THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT—MR. COOLEY'S DOG AND OUR TROUBLES WITH IT.

CHAPTER VIII.
THE MORNING ARGUS CREATES A SENSATION—A NEW EDITOR;  MR. SLIMMER THE POET—AN OBITUARY DEPARTMENT—MR. SLIMMER ON DEATH—EXTRAORDINARY SCENE IN THE SANCTUM OF COLONEL BANGS—INDIGNANT ADVERTISERS—THE COLONEL VIOLENTLY ASSAILED—OBSERVATIONS OF THE POET—THE FINAL CATASTROPHE—MYSTERIOUS CONDUCT OF BOB PARKER—THE ACCIDENT ON MAGRUDER'S PORCH—MRS. ADELER ON THE SUBJECT OF OBITUARY POETRY IN GENERAL.

CHAPTER IX.
THE REASON WHY I PURCHASED A HORSE—A PECULIAR CHARACTERISTIC—DRIVING BY THE RIVER—OUR HORSE AS A PERSECUTOR—HE BECOMES A GENUINE NIGHTMARE—EXPERIMENTING WITH HIS TAIL
—HOW OUR HORSE DIED—IN RELATION TO PIRATES—MRS. JONES'S BOLD CORSAIR—A LAMENTABLE TALE.

CHAPTER X.
A PICTURESQUE CHURCH—SOME REFLECTIONS UPON CHURCH MUSIC—BOB PARKER IN THE CHOIR—OUR UNDERTAKER—A GLOOMY MAN—OUR EXPERIENCE WITH THE HOT-AIR FURNACES—A SERIES OF ACCIDENTS—MR. COLLAMER'S VOCALISM—AN EXTRAORDINARY MISTAKE.

CHAPTER XI.
A FISHING EXCURSION DOWN THE RIVER—DIFFICULTIES OF THE VOYAGE—A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE INCIDENTS—OUR RETURN HOME, AND HOW WE WERE RECEIVED—A LETTER UPON THE GENERAL SUBJECT OF ANGLING—THE SORROWS OF THE FISHERMAN—LIEUTENANT SMILEY—HIS RECOLLECTIONS OF REV. MR. BLODGETT—A VERY REMARKABLE MISSIONARY.

CHAPTER XII.
HOW THE PLUMBER FIXED MY BOILER—A VEXATIOUS BUSINESS—HOW HE DIDN'T COME TO TIME, AND WHAT THE ULTIMATE RESULT WAS—AN ACCIDENT, AND THE PATHETIC STORY OF YOUNG CHUBB—REMINISCENCES OF GENERAL CHUBB—THE ECCENTRICITIES OF AN ABSENT-MINDED MAN—THE RIVALS—PARKER VERSUS SMILEY.

CHAPTER XIII.
AN EVIL DAY—FLOGGING-TIME IN NEW CASTLE—HOW THE PUNISHMENT IS INFLICTED—A FEW REMARKS UPON THE GENERAL MERITS OF THE SYSTEM—A SINGULAR JUDGE—HOW GEORGE WASHINGTON BUSBY WAS SENTENCED—EMOTIONS OF THE PRISONER—A CRUEL INFLICTION, AND A CODE THAT OUGHT TO BE REFORMED.

CHAPTER XIV.
A
DELAWARE LEGEND—A STORY OF THE OLD TIME—THE CHRISTMAS PLAY—A CRUEL ACCUSATION—THE FLIGHT IN THE DARKNESS ALONG THE RIVER SHORE—THE TRIAL AND THE CONDEMNATION—ST. PILLORY'S DAY SEVENTY YEARS AGO—FLOGGING A WOMAN—THE DELIVERANCE.

CHAPTER XV.
A VERY DISAGREEABLE PREDICAMENT—WILD EXULTATION OF PARKER—HE MAKES AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT—AN INTERVIEW WITH THE OLD MAN—THE EMBARRASSMENT OF MR. SPARKS, AND HOW HE OVERCAME IT—A STORY OF BISHOP POTTS—THE MISERIES OF TOO MUCH MARRIAGE—HOW POTTS SUFFERED, AND WHAT HIS END WAS.

CHAPTER XVI.
OLD
FORT KASIMIR TWO CENTURIES AGO—THE GOBLINS OF THE LANE—AN OUTRAGE UPON PITMAN'S COW—THE JUDGE DISCUSSES THE SUBJECT OF BITTERS—HOW COOLEY CAME HOME—TURNING OFF THE GAS—A FRIGHTFUL ACCIDENT IN THE ARGUS OFFICE—THE TERRIBLE FATE OF ARCHIBALD WATSON—HOW MR. BERGNER TAUGHT SUNDAY-SCHOOL.

CHAPTER XVII.
A DISMAL SORT OF DAY—A FEW ABLE REMARKS ABOUT UMBRELLAS—THE UMBRELLA IN A HUMOROUS ASPECT—THE CALAMITY THAT BEFEL COLONEL COOMBS—AN AMBITIOUS BUT MISERABLE MONARCH—INFLUENCE OF UMBRELLAS ON THE WEATHER—AN IMPROVED WEATHER SYSTEM—A LITTLE NONSENSE—JUDGE PITMAN'S VIEWS OF WEATHER OF VARIOUS KINDS.

CHAPTER XVIII.
TROUBLE FOR THE HERO AND HEROINE—A BROKEN ENGAGEMENT AND A FORLORN DAMSEL—BOB PARKER'S SUFFERING—A FORMIDABLE ENCOUNTER—THE PECULIAR CONDUCT OF A DUMB ANIMAL—COOLEY'S BOY AND HIS HOME DISCIPLINE—A STORY OF AN ECHO.

CHAPTER XIX.
THE CERTIFICATE CONCERNING PITMAN'S HAIR—UNENDURABLE PERSECUTION—A WARNING TO MEN WITH BALDHEADED FRIENDS—AN EXPLANATION—THE SLANDERER DISCOVERED —BENJAMIN P. GUNN—A MODEL LIFE INSURANCE AGENT.

CHAPTER XX.
A CERTAIN REMARKABLE BOOK—A FEW SUGGESTIONS RESPECTING
BOSTON—DELUSIONS OF CHILDHOOD—BULLYING GENERAL GAGE—JUDGE PITMAN AND THE CATECHISM—AN EXTRAORDINARY BLUNDER—THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF HILLEGASS—A FALSE ALARM.

CHAPTER XXI.
SETTLING THE BUSINESS—VINDICATION OF MR. BOB PARKER—A COMPLETE RECONCILIATION—THE GREAT COOLEY INQUEST—THE UNCERTAINTY IN REGARD TO THOMAS COOLEY—A PHENOMENAL CORONER—PROFITABLE INVESTIGATIONS—HOW THE PEOPLE PROSPERED—THE SOLUTION OF THE MYSTERY.

CHAPTER XXII.
AN ARRIVAL—A PRESENT FROM A CONGRESSMAN—MEDITATIONS UPON HIS PURPOSE—THE PATENT OFFICE REPORT OF THE FUTURE—A PLAN FOR REVOLUTIONIZING PUBLIC DOCUMENTS AND OPENING A NEW DEPARTMENT OF LITERATURE—OUR TRIP TO SALEM—A TRAGICAL INCIDENT—THE LAST OF LIEUTENANT SMILEY.

CHAPTER XXIII.
PITMAN AS A POLITICIAN—HE IS NOMINATED FOR THE LEGISLATURE—HOW HE WAS SERENADED, AND WHAT THE RESULT WAS—I TAKE A HAND AT POLITICS—THE STORY OF MY FIRST POLITICAL SPEECH—MY RECEPTION AT DOVER—MISERY OF A MAN WITH ONLY ONE SPEECH—THE SCENE AT THE MASS MEETING—A FRIGHTFUL DISCOMFITURE.

CHAPTER XXIV.
THE WEDDING-DAY—ENORMOUS EXCITEMENT IN THE VILLAGE—PREPARATIONS FOR THE EVENT—THE CONDUCT OF BOB PARKER—THE CEREMONY AT THE CHURCH, AND THE COMPANY AT MAGRUDER'S—A LAST LOOK AT SOME OLD FRIENDS—DEPARTURE OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM—SOME UNCOMMONLY SOLEMN REFLECTIONS, AND THEN THE END.

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