John Skelton - EPITAPH FOR JOHN CLARKE AND ADAM UDERSALL

EPITAPH FOR JOHN CLARKE AND ADAM UDERSALL

[From Marshe's ed. of Skelton's Works, 1568]

Note: This poem is mostly in Latin. A translation is printed below.

THIS treatise devised it is
Of two knaves sometime of Diss.
Though these knaves be dead,
Full of mischief and queed,
Yet, wheresoever they lie,
Their names shall never die.

Compendium de duobus versipellibus, John Jayberd, et Adam all a knave, deque illorum notissima vilitate.

A DEVOUT TRENTAL<1> FOR OLD JOHN CLARKE, SOMETIME THE HOLY PATRIARCH OF DISS

Sequitur trigintale
Tale quale rationale,
Licet parum curiale,
Tamen satis est formale,
Joannis Clerc, hominis
Cujusdam multinominis,
Joannes Jayberd qui vocatur,
Clerc cleribus nuncupatur.
Obiit sanctus iste pater
Anna Domini MD. sexto.
10
In parochia de Dis
Non erat sibi similis;
In malitia vir insignis,
Duplex corde et bilinguis;
Senio confectus,
Omnibus suspectus,
Nemini dilectus,
Sepultus est
among the weeds:
God forgive him his misdeeds!

Dulce melos
Penetrans coelos.

Carmina cum cannis
cantemus festa Joannis:
Clerk obiit vere,
Jayberd nomenque dedere:
Dis popula natus,
Clerk cleribus estque vocatus.
Hic vir Chaldaeus,
nequam vir, ceu Jebusaeus,
In Christum Domini
fremuit de more cameli,
10
Rectori proprio
tam verba retorta loquendo
Unde resultando-
que Acheronta boando tonaret.<
2>
Nunquam sincere
solitus sua crimina flere;
male lingua loquax-
que dicax mendaxque, fuere
Et mores tales
resident in nemine quales;
20
Carpens vitales
auras, turbare sodales
Et cines socios,
asinus, mulus velut, et bos.
Omne suum studium
rubeum pictum per amictum
Discolor; et victum
faciens semper maledictum
Ex intestinis ovium-
que boumque caprorum;
30
Tendens adque forum,
fragmentum colligit horum,
Dentibus exemptis
mastigat cumque polentis
Lanigerum caput aut ovis<
3>
aut vaccae mugientis.
Quid petis, hic sit quis?
John Jayberd, incola de Dis;
Cui, dum vixerat is,
sociantur jurgia, vis, lis
. 40

Jam jacet hic stark dead,
Never a tooth in his head.
Adieu, Jayberd, adieu,
In faith, deacon thou crew!<
4>
Fratres, orate
For this knavate,
By the holy rood,
Did never man good:
I pray you all,
And pray shall, 50
At this
trental
On knees to fall
To the football;
With, Fill the black bowl
For Jayberd's soul.

Bibite multum:
Ecce sepultum
Sub pede stultum,
Asinum, et mulum!
The devil kiss his culum! 60
Hey, ho, rumbelow!<
5>
Rumpopulorum,
Per omnia secula seculorum! Amen

REQUIEM, &c.

Per Fredericum Hely,
Fratrem de Monte Carmeli,
Qui condunt sine sale
Hoc devotum trigintale.
Vale Jayberd, valde male!

Adam Uddersall,<6>
Alias dictus Adam all
a knave, his
Epitaph followeth devoutly;
He was sometime the holy
Bailiff of Diss.

OF DISS.

Adam degebat:
dum vixit, falsa gerebat,
Namque extorquebat
quicquid nativus habebat,
Aut liber natus; rapidus
lupus inde vocatus:
Ecclesiamque satus
de Belial iste Pilatus
Sub pede calcatus
violavit, nunc violatus:
Perfidus, iratus,
numquam fuit ille beatus:
10
Uddersall stratus
benedictis est spoliatus,
Improbus, inflatus,
maledictis jam laceratus:
Dis, tibi bacchatus
<
7>
ballivus praedominatus:
Hic fuit ingratus,
porcus velut insatiatus,
20
Pinguis, crassatus;
velut Agag sit reprobatus!
Crudelisque Cacus
barathro, peto, sit tumulatus!
<
8>
Beelzebub his soul save,
Qui jacet hic, like a knave!
Jam scio mortuus est,
Et jacet hic,
like a beast.
Anima ejus
De malo in pejus. Amen

De Dis haec semper erit camena,
Adam Uddersall sit anathema!

Auctore Skelton, rectore de Dis.

Finis, &c. Apud Trumpinton scriptum per Curatum ejusdem, quinto die Januarii Anna Domini, secundum computat. Angliae, MDVII.<9>

Adam, Adam, ubi es? Genesis. Re. Ubi nulla regales, ubi nullus ordo, sed sempiternus horror inhabitat. Job.

TRANSLATION

(Translation in italics Roman letters indicate English words in the original)

A compendium of two little poems, about John Jayberd and Adam-all-a-knave, and their notorious worthlessness.

EPITAPH FOR JOHN CLARKE AND ADAM UDERSALL, SOMETIME THE HOLY PATRIARCH OF DISS

There follows a trental,
So great in logic,
So little is allowed by the court
However it is formal enough
John Clerk, a man
Who had many names,
Who was called John Jayberd;
Clerk by the Clergy.
This holy father died
in the year of the Lord 1506.
in the parish of Diss
There was none like him;
A man notable for malice,
Two-hearted and two-tongued
His years completed,
Mistrusted by all,
Loved by none
He is buried
among the weeds:
God forgive him his misdeeds!

A sweet tune
filling the air.

A song with reed instruments
We will sing on the feast of John,
Clerk is truly dead,
Who was given the name Jayberd:
Born of the people of Dis,
Clerk, this cleric was called.
This Chaldean man,
not a man, but a Jebusite
In Christ the Lord,
He brayed like a camel,
Speaking such words
To the rector of that place,
And to whom he retorted
thundering like the river Acheron.
Never honestly
repenting his habitual crimes
Speaking with an evil tongue,
telling lies,
And his morals were such
As no-one else had;
Using all his breath,
To disturb the companions
and the neighbours on this side,
Just like an ass, a mule and an ox.
All his effort went into
smearing and blackening,
And his livelihood
was in always making curses
from the entrails of sheep,
oxen and goats;
Going to the market-place
to gather up scraps,
Having no teeth,
he ate with his porridge,
The head of a lamb, sheep or cow.
What do you ask, who might this be?
John Jayberd, inhabitant of Diss
Who while he lived,
Was associated with forceful quarrels and strife.

Now he is struck stark dead,
Never a tooth in his head.
Adieu, Jayberd, adieu,
In faith, deacon thou crew!
Brothers, pray
For this knavate,
By the holy rood,
Did never man good:
I pray you all,
And pray shall,
At this trental
On knees to fall
To the football;
With, Fill the black bowl
For Jayberd's soul.

Drink deeply,
This tomb underfoot
is that of a fool
An ass and a mule!
The devil kiss his arse!
Hey, ho, rumbelow!
Rumpopulorum,
For ever and ever. Amen.

By Frederic Hely,
A brother of the Carmelite order,
Who conducted without pay,
This trental devotion.
Go, Jayberd, extremely badly!

Adam Uddersall,
Otherwise called Adam all
a knave, his
Epitaph followeth devoutly;
He was sometime the holy
Bailiff of Diss.

Adam has passed away,
While he lived, he behaved dishonestly
and he extorted
Whatever the people had,
Either serf or free-born.
Thus he was called a ravening wolf:
And this Pilate from Belial
trampled the violated
church underfoot:
Treacherous, wrathful,
Never did he do what was virtuous:
Udersall's pompous blessing spread
robbery, wickedness,
Curses and wounds:
Diss, to you this enraged
bailiff was a tyrant:
He was hateful,
like a greedy pig
Obese, stuffed with food,
May he be condemned like Agag!
And I pray, may he be entombed in a pit
like cruel Cacus!

Beelzebub his soul save,
Who is buried here, like a knave!
For I know he is dead,
And is buried here,
like a beast.
May his soul go
from bad to worse. Amen

This will always be the song of Diss,
May Adam Udersall be anathema!

Written by Skelton, rector of Diss

The end, &c. Transcribed in Trumpington by the curate of that place on the fifth of January 1507, (according to English reckoning).

Adam, Adam, where are you? Genesis. Where there is no rest, where there is no order, but everlasting horror dwelleth. Job

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