"Some few nights after our arrival in London, Lord Kingsboroughtook me to the play, where, in the very next box, I met with the Venetian Ambassador, who was a near relation of mine, and particularly intimate with me and all my family. He was as much astonished at seeing me, as I was terrified and alarmed at seeing him; for I doubted not but he had heard of my elopement, and the death of Lord Cantaria, to whom he was also related. Nor was I deceived in that opinion; for, after a very cold salute, I could perceive he was prodigiously uneasy, and after some time retired, which I concluded was to give orders to have me watched, and to find out my residence. This new alarm so terrified me, that I had like to have fainted. My Lord observed my distress, and enquiring the cause, I informed him of my suspicions, and begged he would permit me to leave the house directly, which, in regard to me, he complied with; and having conducted me out at a private door, put me into a chair without any attendants but himself, and ordered the chairmen to stop at a certain street which he mentioned, but not at the place of our residence. We had not gone far, when my Lord called a hackney coach, which we both got into and went home; and, by this caution, eluded any enquiry the Ambassador might have made after me; nor could my Lord ever afterwards, during our stay in London, prevail with me to go into any public place or meeting, which very much disconcerted him, as he intended to have spent the remainder of the winter in England. But this adventure, and my resolution not to appear any more in public, determined him to set out for Ireland, and we arrived at Dublin in a few days afterwards.

            "It had been reported to several of my Lord's friends in that kingdom, that he had been murdered at Venice, and they had received a very imperfect account of our adventure there; but his sudden and unexpected appearance gave so much joy and satisfaction, that for several days he was not permitted to be one moment alone. His house was perpetually filled with persons of the first distinction, who flew to congratulate his Lordchip on his safe arrival, for I need not tell you how much and how universally he was beloved and respected. We remained near three months in Dublin, and I was entertained by his Lordship and all his frrends (except ladies) with the same respect and distinction, as if I had been married to him, and he had given positive directions to all his servants and domestics to treat and obey me as such; so that I was as happy as the nature of my situation would admit, and I believe, that, during that period, his Lordship was never guilty of any infidelity to me.

            "Some time in May following he took me to Rockingham, which I need not describe to you. I was charmed with this delightful place, and as I had centered all my happiness in my Lord's presence and company, and as I enjoyed much more of it there, than I could possibly do in town, I grew perfectly pleased with my situation, and I soon discovered that I was pregnant.

            "This event so delighted my Lord, that he, if possible, doubled his assiduity to please and indulge me in everything. You have seen the manner he lived in at this enchanting seat, and have experienced his power to please. In short, everything about me was a perfect paradise, and all devoted to my pleasures. In this delightful manner we passed the summer, and as the time of my delivery drew near, we repaired to town in October; and, about the middle of November, I was mother of one of the finest boys in the universe. My Lord was all transport, and every preparation was made and attendance given, suited to a person of the first rank and distinction; and he had the child called Robert, after his own christian name.

            "A nurse was, at my particular desire, taken into the house, and my whole attention was engrossed by my lovely boy; nor was my Lord less fond of him, which rendered me entirely happy; when a cursed adventure interfered, that blasted all my hope of future happiness and repose. My Lord was taken in bed with the honourable Mrs G––, a near relation of his own, and the wife of a person of the very first rank and family in the kingdom. The manner in which they were discovered, rendered it impossible to keep the affair secret. It was spread all over the city in a few days, and a prosecution was commenced against my Lord by the husband; whilst the lady was immediately put into a ship in the harbour by her own family, carried over to France, and there immured in a cloister, where she remains to this day. And my Lord, at the request and by the persuasion of many of his friends, retired into the country, until the confusion, which this shameful amour had produced, should be blown over.

            "I need not mention to you, nor indeed can I, the tortures I felt on this occasion. I became frantic, and upbraided my Lord for his infidelity, and the insult he had offered to me, in terms that were, I own, rather too violent, and both surprised and offended him; for you know with what impatience he could hear any of his faults, or remonstrance against them. We had not been long in the country before we quarreled and became so uneasy, that he ordered separate beds, and shortly after openly avowed his inconstancy by keeping wenches in the very house with me. On reflection, I think it but justice to his Lordship's memory to own I was much to blame on this occasion; that my behaviour to him was too violent and aggravating; and that if I had preserved more moderation and discretion, he never would have treated me with that disrespect and indifference, which I ever afterwards so fatally experienced. For some time I was really out of my senses; but my youth and inexperience, joined to the violence of my love and attachment to him, blinded my understanding, and I gave entire sway to my passions without once reflecting on the consequences.

            "The measure of my misfortunes was not however yet full, though I thought myself as miserable as any human wretch could be made. My dear boy was taken with that cruel distemper called the smallpox, and died in a few days. I shall not attempt to describe my sorrows on that occasion, nor did I ever see my Lord so much affected. He was really grieved, and for some days would not see any company. For a whole week I had never spoke to him or seen him, but remained in my own apartments, where I wept myself into a perfect stupefaction, regardless of everything that surrounded me."

Prev Next