OUT OF THE HURLY-BURLY By MAX ADELER
CONTENTS
CHAPTER I.
THE FOUNDER OF NEW CASTLE—A SEARCH FOR QUIETNESS—LIFE IN THE CITY AND
THE VILLAGE—WHY THE LATTER IS PREFERABLE—PECULIARITIES OF THE VILLAGE—SLEEPY
OLD TOWN—WE ERECT OUR FAMILY ALTAR.
CHAPTER II.
A VERY DANGEROUS INVENTION—THE
PATENT COMBINATION STEP-LADDER—DOMESTIC SERVANTS—ADVERTISING FOR
A GIRL—THE PEASANT-GIRL OF FACT AND FICTION—A CONTRAST.
CHAPTER III.
THE VIEW UPON THE RIVER; A MAGNIFICENT PANORAMA—MR. AND MRS.
COOLEY—MATRIMIONIAL INFELICITIES—THE CASE OF MRS. SAWYER; A BLIGHTED LIFE—A
PRESENT; OUR CENTURY PLANT AND ITS PECULIARITIES.
CHAPTER IV.
JUDGE PITMAN—HIS EXPERIMENT IN THE BARN—A LESSON IN NATURAL HISTORY—CATCHING
THE EARLY TRAIN—ONE OF THE MISERIES OF LIVING IN A VILLAGE—BALL'S LUNG
EXERCISE—MR. COOLEY'S IMPERTINENCE.
CHAPTER V.
A LITTLE LOVE AFFAIR—COWARDICE OF MR. PARKER—POPULAR INTEREST IN AMATORY
MATTERS—THE MAGRUDER FAMILY—AN EVENT IN ITS HISTORY—REMARKABLE EXPERIMENTS BY MRS.
MAGRUDER—AN INDIGNANT HUSBAND —A QUESTION ANSWERED.
CHAPTER VI.
THE EDITOR OF OUR DAILY PAPER—THE APPEARANCE AND PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS OF
COLONEL BANGS—THE AFFAIR WITH THE TOMBSTONE—ART NEWS—COLONEL BANGS IN THE HEAT OF A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN—PECULIAR
TROUBLES OF PUBLIC SINGERS—THE PHENOMENA OF MENAGERIES—EXTRAORDINARY SAGACITY
OF THE ANIMALS—THE WILD MAN OF
CHAPTER VII.
THE BATTERY AND ITS
PECULIARITIES—A LOVELY SCENE—SWEDE AND DUTCHMAN TWO HUNDRED YEARS AGO—OLD NAMES
OF THE RIVER—INDIAN NAMES GENERALLY—COOLEY'S BOY—HIS ADVENTURE IN CHURCH—THE
LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT—MR. COOLEY'S DOG AND OUR TROUBLES WITH IT.
CHAPTER VIII.
THE MORNING ARGUS CREATES A SENSATION—A NEW EDITOR; MR. SLIMMER
THE POET—AN OBITUARY DEPARTMENT—MR. SLIMMER ON DEATH—EXTRAORDINARY SCENE IN THE
SANCTUM OF COLONEL BANGS—INDIGNANT ADVERTISERS—THE COLONEL VIOLENTLY
ASSAILED—OBSERVATIONS OF THE POET—THE FINAL CATASTROPHE—MYSTERIOUS CONDUCT OF
BOB PARKER—THE ACCIDENT ON MAGRUDER'S PORCH—MRS. ADELER ON THE SUBJECT OF
OBITUARY POETRY IN GENERAL.
CHAPTER IX.
THE REASON WHY I PURCHASED A HORSE—A PECULIAR CHARACTERISTIC—DRIVING BY THE
RIVER—OUR HORSE AS A PERSECUTOR—HE BECOMES A GENUINE NIGHTMARE—EXPERIMENTING
WITH HIS TAIL—HOW OUR
HORSE DIED—IN RELATION TO PIRATES—MRS. JONES'S BOLD CORSAIR—A LAMENTABLE TALE.
CHAPTER X.
A PICTURESQUE CHURCH—SOME REFLECTIONS UPON CHURCH MUSIC—BOB PARKER IN THE
CHOIR—OUR UNDERTAKER—A GLOOMY MAN—OUR EXPERIENCE WITH THE HOT-AIR FURNACES—A
SERIES OF ACCIDENTS—MR. COLLAMER'S VOCALISM—AN EXTRAORDINARY MISTAKE.
CHAPTER XI.
A FISHING EXCURSION DOWN THE RIVER—DIFFICULTIES OF THE VOYAGE—A SERIES OF
UNFORTUNATE INCIDENTS—OUR RETURN HOME, AND HOW WE WERE RECEIVED—A LETTER UPON
THE GENERAL SUBJECT OF ANGLING—THE SORROWS OF THE FISHERMAN—LIEUTENANT
SMILEY—HIS RECOLLECTIONS OF REV. MR. BLODGETT—A VERY REMARKABLE MISSIONARY.
CHAPTER XII.
HOW THE PLUMBER FIXED MY BOILER—A VEXATIOUS BUSINESS—HOW HE DIDN'T COME TO
TIME, AND WHAT THE ULTIMATE RESULT WAS—AN ACCIDENT, AND THE PATHETIC STORY OF
YOUNG CHUBB—REMINISCENCES OF GENERAL CHUBB—THE ECCENTRICITIES OF AN
ABSENT-MINDED MAN—THE RIVALS—PARKER VERSUS SMILEY.
CHAPTER XIII.
AN EVIL DAY—FLOGGING-TIME IN NEW CASTLE—HOW THE PUNISHMENT IS INFLICTED—A FEW
REMARKS UPON THE GENERAL MERITS OF THE SYSTEM—A SINGULAR JUDGE—HOW GEORGE
WASHINGTON BUSBY WAS SENTENCED—EMOTIONS OF THE PRISONER—A CRUEL INFLICTION, AND
A CODE THAT OUGHT TO BE REFORMED.
CHAPTER XIV.
A
CHAPTER XV.
A VERY DISAGREEABLE PREDICAMENT—WILD EXULTATION OF PARKER—HE MAKES AN IMPORTANT
ANNOUNCEMENT—AN INTERVIEW WITH THE OLD MAN—THE EMBARRASSMENT OF MR. SPARKS, AND
HOW HE OVERCAME IT—A STORY OF BISHOP POTTS—THE MISERIES OF TOO MUCH
MARRIAGE—HOW POTTS SUFFERED, AND WHAT HIS END WAS.
CHAPTER XVI.
OLD FORT KASIMIR TWO
CENTURIES AGO—THE GOBLINS OF THE LANE—AN OUTRAGE UPON PITMAN'S COW—THE JUDGE
DISCUSSES THE SUBJECT OF BITTERS—HOW COOLEY CAME HOME—TURNING OFF THE GAS—A
FRIGHTFUL ACCIDENT IN THE ARGUS OFFICE—THE TERRIBLE FATE OF ARCHIBALD
WATSON—HOW MR. BERGNER TAUGHT SUNDAY-SCHOOL.
CHAPTER XVII.
A DISMAL SORT OF DAY—A FEW ABLE REMARKS ABOUT UMBRELLAS—THE UMBRELLA IN A
HUMOROUS ASPECT—THE CALAMITY THAT BEFEL COLONEL COOMBS—AN AMBITIOUS BUT
MISERABLE MONARCH—INFLUENCE OF UMBRELLAS ON THE WEATHER—AN IMPROVED WEATHER
SYSTEM—A LITTLE NONSENSE—JUDGE PITMAN'S VIEWS OF WEATHER OF VARIOUS KINDS.
CHAPTER
XVIII.
TROUBLE FOR THE HERO AND HEROINE—A BROKEN ENGAGEMENT AND A FORLORN DAMSEL—BOB PARKER'S
SUFFERING—A FORMIDABLE ENCOUNTER—THE PECULIAR CONDUCT OF A DUMB ANIMAL—COOLEY'S
BOY AND HIS HOME DISCIPLINE—A STORY OF AN ECHO.
CHAPTER XIX.
THE CERTIFICATE CONCERNING PITMAN'S HAIR—UNENDURABLE PERSECUTION—A WARNING TO MEN
WITH BALDHEADED FRIENDS—AN EXPLANATION—THE SLANDERER DISCOVERED —BENJAMIN P.
GUNN—A MODEL LIFE INSURANCE AGENT.
CHAPTER XX.
A CERTAIN REMARKABLE BOOK—A FEW SUGGESTIONS RESPECTING BOSTON—DELUSIONS OF CHILDHOOD—BULLYING GENERAL
GAGE—JUDGE PITMAN AND THE CATECHISM—AN EXTRAORDINARY BLUNDER—THE FACTS IN THE
CASE OF HILLEGASS—A FALSE ALARM.
CHAPTER XXI.
SETTLING THE BUSINESS—VINDICATION OF MR. BOB PARKER—A COMPLETE
RECONCILIATION—THE GREAT COOLEY INQUEST—THE UNCERTAINTY IN REGARD TO THOMAS
COOLEY—A PHENOMENAL CORONER—PROFITABLE INVESTIGATIONS—HOW THE PEOPLE
PROSPERED—THE SOLUTION OF THE MYSTERY.
CHAPTER XXII.
AN ARRIVAL—A PRESENT FROM A CONGRESSMAN—MEDITATIONS UPON HIS PURPOSE—THE PATENT
OFFICE REPORT OF THE FUTURE—A PLAN FOR REVOLUTIONIZING PUBLIC DOCUMENTS AND
OPENING A NEW DEPARTMENT OF LITERATURE—OUR TRIP TO SALEM—A TRAGICAL
INCIDENT—THE LAST OF LIEUTENANT SMILEY.
CHAPTER
XXIII.
PITMAN AS A POLITICIAN—HE IS NOMINATED FOR THE LEGISLATURE—HOW HE WAS
SERENADED, AND WHAT THE RESULT WAS—I TAKE A HAND AT POLITICS—THE STORY OF MY
FIRST POLITICAL SPEECH—MY RECEPTION AT DOVER—MISERY OF A MAN WITH ONLY ONE
SPEECH—THE SCENE AT THE MASS MEETING—A FRIGHTFUL DISCOMFITURE.
CHAPTER XXIV.
THE WEDDING-DAY—ENORMOUS EXCITEMENT IN THE VILLAGE—PREPARATIONS FOR THE
EVENT—THE CONDUCT OF BOB PARKER—THE CEREMONY AT THE CHURCH, AND THE COMPANY AT
MAGRUDER'S—A LAST LOOK AT SOME OLD FRIENDS—DEPARTURE OF THE BRIDE AND
GROOM—SOME UNCOMMONLY SOLEMN REFLECTIONS, AND THEN THE END.
